I try to focus on reminders of loved ones I miss rather than that ache in the heart and the longing. I recall some of the things that remind me of them and it brings me some comfort. Sometimes these reminders pop up out of the blue and it’s most often smells or sounds that are familiar, somewhere from the back of my mind. Lately I’ve been trying to be more aware when these appear– hoping that actively remembering will prevent me from losing these memories altogether, and keep them close and comforting.

 I remember:

• My Poppa’s giggle and the smell of his pipe, his taking me on little errands, often treating me to a Charleston Chew. 

• My Grandma’s raspberry kisses tickling my cheeks, what a good sport she was, tagging along to watch our countless basketball, soccer, tennis, and baseball games, her always reminding us to count our blessings,” and her never being without Doublemint gum and a Kleenex under her watch band. 

• Grandmommy’s avid love of reading and devotion to her morning crossword puzzle, watching Jeopardy, listening to “my Frankie” and how privileged I felt to chat with her and watch as she “put on her face.” 

• My Nana smelling like Noxema, (and she had the softest skin), her babushkas, how she loved the Cubs, walked every day for exercise and how she didn’t say brush your teeth, but “wash your teeth.” And oh, the hugs from them…so warm, making you feel so loved.  

• My Uncle Denny always showed an interest in what I wanted to be when I grew up and made me believe I could do anything. 

• How fiercely family loyal my Uncle Steve was, and probably the most competitive Euchre player I’ve ever met.  

 When I remember these things, it makes me smile.

 I invite you to reach out to someone to share a memory of a loved one that you miss, either with someone else who knew them (and do they remember the same things?) or someone who didn’t—or both.  This might be:

• A quality you associate with them

• An object, activity, or product that makes you think of them whenever you see, hear or smell it.

• A phrase they often said

 And I hope when you remember that it brings you a comforting smile too.