[This is a reprint of a post from 2020 during the height of the pandemic; the sentiment is the same although our ability to gather has thankfully been restored.]

This Memorial Day is not the same-- there is no parade, nor marching band, the city will not gather in the cemetery together for a ceremony of honor and remembrance, and there will be fewer hugs and family gatherings. But that doesn’t mean we cannot reflect and honor.

I remember very vividly last year’s Memorial Day ceremony, and the words shared, the words that are spoken to the family of a service person at their funeral:

On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States (Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force or Coast Guard), and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service.

I remember how overcome I was with sadness and reverence at the realization that the loved one about whom those words are spoken is never able to hear them. They do not know how their bravery, courage, and ultimate sacrifice were profoundly appreciated. They don’t know the impact their service had on others: family members and friends, their community, future service men and women and those they served alongside. Although they are no longer present to hear these words, we can still honor them and share with those they left behind. We can reach out and let family members and friends know how they are remembered, we can allow space for them to communicate and share part of their loved one’s legacy.

Several of my family members served in the military- both grandfathers, uncles on both sides of the family and my aunt, and I am fortunate that none lost their lives in doing so. I do know my grandfather was away in World War II and did not meet my mother until she was a toddler (picture above). But I don’t know their stories, what urged their bravery in putting their country before themselves, what they learned through serving, and I’d like to know, both for curiosity and as a way to honor them.  

If you have military members around you, you have the gift of being able to connect, to show appreciation, to give them honored space to share their story. 

You might start with:  

• Tell me about your military history.

• What inspired you to enlist?

• What experience changed you the most?

• What are 3 words that describe how you feel/felt in uniform?

And in return, you can share with them: 

• I am proud of you because…

• I thank you for…

If your military members are no longer around, you might try talking with a spouse, sibling, or best friend who likely had conversations with them to discover:

• Details about their service history (branch and years served, where they went to basic training, other places they were stationed, rank held, skills they were proud to have gained)

• If there was an experience during their service that changed either the trajectory of their lives or changed them in some way

• What rituals or ways they honored the Memorial Day holiday each year

We enjoy freedoms today because of those who bravely came before us. Thank you to those who serve and have served and are here with us – please know how much you are appreciated. Thank you to those who are not, you mattered, and you are not forgotten.

With gratitude, ~Jenn