The distinctively cool, clean smell of Noxema immediately brings to mind my great grandmother and the feel of her soft cheeks when I went to kiss her goodbye, and her equally soft hands that would gently squeeze mine.

It’s amazing how a scent, sound, or a simple phrase can bring someone back so vividly. These sensory memories we have are sometimes strange, popping up unexpectedly and out of nowhere, but those sensory memories are strong, almost primordial. Those little details…a scent,  a sound, a taste, or a favorite phrase -  quiet reminders that stir our connection to the people we love. 

These small details can tether us to our past, reminding us of the warmth and comfort certain people blessed our life with. Focusing on the memories of loved ones I’ve lost, especially when I’m missing them, helps a little to fill in the void, to soften the ache.

Remembering the sound of their laugh, things they said, or how their kitchen smelled adds a layer of connection, like a loving hug you didn’t know you needed.  Recalling some of the things that remind me of them brings back moments we shared, moments I’m thankful for.

Grief and gratitude can coexist.

Lately I’ve been trying to be more aware, actively remembering with intention. I don’t want the small things to slip away. So I have been writing them down and sharing them. Often in the sharing with other family members, I learn new stories and new associations that keeps them close; they live on in our remembrances.

Remembrances like …

The sound of Poppa’s giggle and the smell of his pipe, eating a Charleston Chew with him as a special treat. 

Grandma’s raspberry kisses fluttering on my cheek, her homemade strawberry rhubarb and apple pies and her Christmas fudge, The smell of Doublemint gum, and her often repeated reminder to “Count your blessings.” 

Grandmommy’s listening to “her Frankie” (Sinatra) on the cassette player in the car. Her daily ritual with her morning crossword puzzle and her small double-sided magnifying mirror she used to put “her face on.” Our shared love for watching Jeopardy and eating an order of Hackney’s onion rings together. 

These memories don’t just make me smile, they anchor me, connecting me to where I’ve come from and to the people who helped shape me.

Maybe intentional remembering can be a source of comfort to you, too.

• What smells, sounds, or tastes, or textures bring someone you love to mind? 

• What small details instantly remind you of someone who left their mark on your heart? 

I invite you to take a few quiet moments to  jot down 3 sensory memories that are tied to someone you love. It might be a scent from their house, a tune they always hummed, or the feeling of the fabric of a well-loved sweater. You can journal or even better, share them with a family member, inviting them to remember too. Your memory may spark some of theirs and in the remembering, we keep the love alive.